Friday, October 21, 2011

Always Looking

Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a High priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

This has been an interesting year.  After being diagnosed with lymphoma, I have found it hard to express how I feel. I was looking for my voice. I am still looking. I reverted back to my old self. The self who couldn't speak. Each day I get better. 

Many years ago, I learned to build these walls. Huge walls that no one could get thru. I unknowingly built these walls to keep out all that I feared. I had a hard time with intimacy. I wouldn't let anyone get to know the real me. There were just a few that I trusted. I really didn't understand the love of God. I still struggle with that. He who loves me more than I can even imagine. He that wants a relationship with me. 

In order to understand His love, you need to allow Him to have that intimate relationship with you. He wants to be in that quiet place that only you and Him share. He also wants to be in that place where everyone sees you. I have heard people say "I've been looking for Jesus." "Where is God in all of this" is one of my favorites. The thing is you don't have to look for Jesus, He is right there. Your question of where is God in all of this, He is right in the middle. 

Are you looking for Him? He is here and He is where you are! That is the great thing about it.  To understand His love, you need to remove the things that blind you to His love. I tell you all this because I have to remind my self of this. I am a great wall builder. I am constantly reminding myself those walls aren't meant to be there. God wants that love relationship with you and me. Agape love. The love that is selfless. Jesus died because He loves us that much! Can you count on one hand how many love you like that. The amazing thing is you don't have to look too far. He is waiting just for you. 

As all you know, love relationships require contact. Have you ever had a love relationship where you had no contact? Can you have a relationship with someone with out communication? What is prayer? Talking to God. Now my favorite part of the Hebrews 4:15..."come boldly to the throne." Growing up, I never went boldly to the throne. This year I've learned boldly. 

I have never been more scared than I was this year. I have "obtained that grace and mercy" in that time of need. I received that favor from our Lord. I was looking for it. I didn't deserve it. I am a sinner but He gave it anyway. That is the kind of love He gives! 

We are like sheep and the Shepherd shows gives us grace and mercy.  Next door to me is a field with sheep in it. Here in the upstate we have an issue with coyotes. The farmer has two Great Pyreneese. They would snap my maltese, Linus, in two. I call them Grace and Mercy because they are gentle and loving with the sheep. What have those sheep done to deserve that? Nothing...What have we done to deserve a gentle and loving Shepherd? Nothing. He only shows us grace and mercy. He protects us just as Grace and Mercy do.

None of us are deserving of His love, however, it is there. He is always there in our time of need. None of us are better than the other. We are all equal in sinning. The difference is if you believe in John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Then in John 3:17 "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." Now those are not man's words but the words of Jesus. You can keep looking but it is right there for the taking. When you accept it, accept it boldly. We are sinners and He gave us grace and mercy so that we might spend eternity with Him! He loves you that much!

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