Be still

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me the strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76

Wow! This has been one crazy week. Let me start off by thanking all of you for the prayers and support. The Lord has truly blessed me way beyond what I deserve. Last Thursday, I went to the oncologist and she told me at that momet I had no cancer cells. I still have to finish my last three rounds of chemotherapy. Round four begins this upcoing Monday. The rejoicing we did and are still doing! Friday morning my entire family woke up with a stomach virus. Since my immune system is compromised I started to run a fever that needed immediate medical attention. Shannon took me to the doctor.  Of course, they wanted to admitt me but I didn't want to stay. I have been accused of being hard headed. I received some fluids and I went home. I had just gotten into bed and the nurse practioner called. She said to get to the hospital immediately. My CO2 levels dropped and my white blood cell count dropped. I was immediately admitted. My dear friend had to take me because my entire family was too sick to take me. The Lord has blessed me with great friends. Thank you Lori!! My family couldn't visit so I had a lot of time to be still. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalm 46:10  I was able to do a lot of praying. There were reasons for me to be there. I was able to have down time just to be with God. I was able to witness to a particular person who worked there Sunday morning! Yes, He uses you when you are sick! I am still amazed that it happened just at that moment. That was a gift to me from Him. He let me know He wasn't finished with me yet. No matter the situation you are in, you are still His and your work on earth is not done. One of my lessons this past week was to be still and know that God is God. He is our everything!

One of the reasons for this blog is to let others know that no matter what you have been through the Lord is there guiding you even when you can't see it.

My father's parents were just like many other parents. They had their problems. It was during the depression. They were from Davenport Iowa. My grandfather had tuberculosis and was an alcoholic. My grandmother was trying to raise two children. My great-grandparents were 1st generation Americans from Hamburg Germany. Their names were Klaus and Emma Ehlers. My grandparents were Herman and Dorothy Ehlers. My grandparents seperated when my father and aunt were young. My grandfather passed away soon after. My grandmother raised two children with the help of my grandfather's sister. Aunt Helen passed away this past year after turning 100.

Aunt Helen was an amazing woman and my Daddy loved her so much. He spent a lot of time with her and her family. As a matter of fact, his cousin Janice was like a sister to him. I still keep in touch with her. She and Daddy were the same age. My grandmother had to work and in the 40's there wasn't babysitters or daycares. So my Dad and Aunt Pat were left alone so she could work. The Mississippi River runs right next to Davenport. My Daddy being the boy he was decided he was going to swim across the to the other side. Somehow my grandmother found out. She was at a loss. The only thing she could do to keep both safe was to put them in an orphanage. Sounds drastic I know. It broke my heart when I first heard it. They were there at least through one Christmas. The only reason I know this is because Daddy would talk about getting socks for Christmas. Only the necessaties! You could tell it hurt him emotionally. My grandmother remarried and my Daddy and his sister went to live in their new home. Things were different then. Boys would stay out of school to help on the farm. I've seen his old report cards and he was out alot during harvest time. Even though he missed a lot of school, he was one of the most intelligent men I knew.

He grew up and decided to join the Army. His first duty station was in Germany. He loved it! He also fell in love. The lady was pregnant. About that time, his stepfather was dying and they sent for him to go home. He told the lady that he would be back. After my stepfather passed away, my Daddy went back to Germany. He went to marry this lady and raise his child. When he got there he found out she had already married and the man she married was raising the baby girl as his own. Rather than confuse his child, he left things as they were. At that time, fathers didn't have the rights they do now. So, yes I have a sister and I don't know her. If she ever showed up, I would welcome her. I would tell her how wonderful Daddy was. I would tell her how much he really wanted her in his life.

Just as my Daddy wanted this daughter in his life, the Father wants us in his life. As cliche' as it has become, relationship is the key with the Father. You have to be still and know God is God. He has a bigger plan than even we understand. When I found out about this sister that is out there, I always prayed she would show up and meet Daddy. That wasn't in God's plan. I still pray for her. I pray that the father she had growing up was as good to her as our father was to me. I pray that she knows the heavenly Father.

It was heart wrenching to know that my Daddy went through that. I can't even imagine. As this story unfolds you will see the Father's hand in all of this. What I have learned of my parents' history is perserverance is the key. Even when things were the toughest, they continued on with life. They taught me don't quit, it's not an option.

Jame 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Love all of you
Kim